Top Tips From The Happy Kids Coach

April 30, 2018  •  Leave a Comment

 

A big hello and thank you to our guest blogger, Ali Archbold - The Happy Kids Coach. 

 

 

Hi, I'm Ali and I'm a happiness & well-being coach for children and families based in Leeds, West Yorkshire.

My mission is to make family life easier by improving your understanding of both yours and your child’s behaviour to encourage communication and connection. This, I believe, is the key to happy kids and happy families. 

 

TOP TIP FOR MANAGING ANGER

This last week has been a stressful one, we've moved house and it's been a big change for us all! Change can be difficult, especially for children so it's no surprise emotions have been running pretty high in our house this week for everyone - especially for Little E.

This morning was particularly difficult.

Little E was getting very frustrated and angry at everything which was making me really frustrated and angry too! Words weren't working, giving choices wasn't working, trying to do the 'right thing' wasn't working and I was running out of options and very quickly running out of patience!

Things were just going from bad to worse and Little E was on the edge of a major meltdown and I could feel myself getting wound up too! Then I remembered something from a book I'm reading called 'How to Talk So Little Kids Will Listen' by Julie King and Joanna Faber, and I'm so pleased to say it worked brilliantly.

Here's what happened.......

Instead of reacting, I took a deep breath and responded by asking her to come over and show me how angry she was. I gave her a pen and paper and encouraged her to keep drawing how angry she was feeling. She got stuck in straight away! 👍

I continued to acknowledge her anger by saying things such as 'wow you're really angry' and 'look how angry those eyes are in that face you've drawn'.

I then took a separate piece of paper and showed her how angry I thought she was by tearing it up in front of her and then throwing it up in the air like confetti! She giggled - ahhh ☺️ (*cue sigh of relief!*)

We did this together a couple of more times to get our anger out and then stomped on the pieces on the floor! It was very satisfying!

Afterwards we both felt much better. We talked about how good it felt to get those angry feelings out and when I asked Little E to draw how she was feeling now, she drew a rainbow and said she felt happier (*cue second sigh of relief and a big smile!*) 🌈 ❤️️ it worked yay!

Sometimes getting creative can really work well to help kids express themselves, particularly when they're struggling to understand or explain their own feelings.

By sincerely acknowledging our child's feelings and allowing them to get them out and deal with them in a healthy way, we are preventing our child from stuffing those feelings down within themselves which can, and will, cause problems later on.

Acknowledging and accepting our child's feelings helps them feel understood and when we understand each other, we're more likely to get along. Agree?

No one likes to feel angry, however anger is a healthy emotion, it signals that there are other feelings at play causing the anger, usually feelings of sadness, fear or disappointment.

Next time your child is feeling angry, why not help them get creative to get their anger out? This works for all ages and many different emotions too, Little E is 4 and was able to communicate it really well

 

Keep an eye on The Happy Kids Coach facebook page for more tips including: .

 

  • "Can we start again Mummy" - an opportunity to press the reset button when tension and emotions run a little high
  • "Love is in the air" - tips to help your child feel loved
  • "Being ourselves - a really positive activity you can do with each other to say what you love and appreciate about each other and to show that it’s ok to be who you are.
  • "Top Tips for a stress free morning" - Perfect if you are tired of constantly repeating yourself and feeling like you're nagging your children to 'do this' and 'do that' to get ready for school.
  • "Bad dreams" - Make your child's bad dream less scary

 

Recommended by Ali, why not get more great advice from Joanna and Julie in their book.

 

 


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